Crisp New Pages – Episode 8

Entry 43.1.74 – 12/09/2013


Heaven, I’m in heaven, and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak!

Oh Gerald how your day has been. How wonderful.

You finally got a chance to meet with your new manager. Sophia. She is a dream. An angel. She has been bringing each member of the staff into her office to introduce herself and listen to anything we feel we need to say. Today it was your turn and she is so genuine, honest and sweet. She’s very intelligent. You can tell. She seems so moral. So just. Don’t forget these qualities Gerald. You must always remember how happy you are to have her. Patience and diligence Gerald. Good things come to those who wait. Just like Momma said.

Would you believe on her second day she called Tom into her office and reprimanded him for his work ethic. Her second day! You now have someone to work for who has the same discipline and moral fiber that you have and you’ll work your fingers to the bone for your new leader. Yes you will. So refreshing. So refreshing.

In addition, dear Gerald, Tom wasn’t at work today. None of us had to breathe the same testosterone dripping air as that swine. This also felt quite refreshing.

Lastly, Dr. Linda finally rescheduled your appointment. She suddenly has a lot of free time. Plenty of room on her calendar to pencil you in. And from what her receptionist said this morning, you’ll be helping her with her issues instead of the other way around. Something about a breakup. By text message no less. So sad to hear. So sad.

But she will need you just like you need her and that Gerald, is a happy thought.


Entry 43.1.97 – 01/01/2014


Happy New Year Gerald!

It’s a brand new year and it’s time to get organized. You know you never wait for spring. What are you supposed to do with those three or four months until Spring comes? Twiddle your thumbs? No, you like to keep your hands busy.

The goal for this new year is to keep hobbies from cluttering the house so badly. Your office is always so full, cluttered with trimmings and shredded documents. The lamination supplies are just everywhere and the UV ink? You can be so sloppy Gerald.

The basement is also a mess again. You went a little crazy this time Gerald. A little overboard. You let yourself get a little out of control. Now you’ve got so much to process. It’s your own fault.

The smell is hard enough to keep under control without the clutter and mess down there. Clothes everywhere. They wont be needing them anymore. Besides, you keep the temperature pleasant for the one remaining subject. Tonight you bundled it all up and set it out with the other trash. The whole house clean in just one day. Can you believe it, Gerald? You should be very proud of yourself.

Tomorrow you must remember to sand down the door jamb to the basement. A nail is sticking out of the wood at the end of the gouges he left. It keeps grabbing at things. Just tonight, the plastic bag with all their clothes grazed it and they spilled out onto the floor like a punctured yolk. Of course that was your last bag, so you had to just re-stuff the one that tore and tape it off. Thank god it held well enough to make it to the curb. That was reckless of you Gerald. You mustn’t be so forgetful. You have to remember to buy more bags tomorrow. Extra strength. The black ones with the yellow ties. Those are always so useful.

Off to bed now with a clear head, clean house, and clean life. Yes, Gerald, you’ve fixed things and now life is as it should be.


Entry 43.1.99 – 01/03/2014


Channel 13. The news, they

Gerald, on tonight’s news broadcast it was reported that Carol Bartlett has been reported missing. It appears that HR Sandra got nosy and decided to drive down to Carol’s house to see if she was alright. Candi Carlson, that saccharin devil with the fake fake smile reported that when Sandra got there she found the door unlocked STUPID and that the dog was found dead STUPID and that there was no sign of Carol but also no sign of struggle.

Sandra just couldn’t let it go could she? Carol was gone and that was enough for everyone. Everyone but Sandra. Sneaky, can’t mind her own business, HR Sandra.

Gerald, this is not good.